Day 9: I Woke Up Tired (Again)

I woke up tired today.

Not the cute, yawn and stretch kind of tired.

But the “I physically cannot move and might just dissolve into the mattress” kind of tired.

I miss the days when I actually looked forward to getting out of bed and doing things. Now, every time I wake up, the first thought that crosses my mind is: “Do I have to get up?”

Today was one of those days.

I woke up just to let the cleaning aunty in, then promptly crawled back into bed and woke up again at 11:30. I was supposed to go to the library at 9 and get my life together (or at least pretend to)… but instead, there I was, rotting on my bed, spiraling through thoughts like:

Where did I go wrong?

What am I even doing?

What do I want to do in the future?

And down the rabbit hole I went…

The to-do list felt weirdly offensive.

My brain refused to function, and my legs felt like jelly.

After marinating in existential dread for a couple of hours, I finally got up at 1, got ready, and made my way to the library. I opened my book and—after what felt like an eternity—realised I hadn’t read past the first line. Yep, killing it.

So I took a walk, had a little self-talk (read: dramatic internal monologue in true main-character fashion), and decided to ditch the list.

No pressure. Just vibes.

I switched to video lectures and managed to finish two in three hours. And when I left the library, I felt… happy. Satisfied, even.

That’s when it hit me:

While some people seem to be productive every second of their lives, and I might just be the person productivity gurus warn you about—it’s okay.

It’s okay to not be the ideal student.

Or the ideal child.

Or the ideal friend.

Or even the ideal human.

What matters is that you showed up and did what you could.

So take a deep breath.

Go for that walk.

Drink some water.

And if you must, do a little doomscroll (responsibly).

It’s okay to pause.

But you’re not allowed to quit.

See you tomorrow.